Sunday, June 26, 2022


 Imagine a happy, healthy woman who has no serious worries. This woman has a "normal," fulfilling life. She also has pets. She has a couple of cats who are her companions. She really loves these cats that have been with her for several years. Now imagine that one of her cats dies and, a few days later, another one disappears. Imagine how she will feel. She will be sad, of course. She might even go into a temporary state of depression, but she carries on. And she'll eventually come out of it.

Now imagine a woman who already has chronic depression. She has been depressed for several years. She takes anti-depressants that help her a little bit. She sleeps way more than she should and yet she still manages to get out of bed - eventually - so she can take care of her other pets. But, honestly, if there were no pets she would sleep a lot more. She has chronic fatigue along with her depression that makes it nearly impossible for her to do most normal things, like housework, bathing, shopping, going to medical appointments, etc. Now imagine that this woman loses not one, but two cats in the space of two weeks. One gets sick and dies. One just disappears. Imagine how this woman will feel. The mild state of depression felt by the otherwise-healthy woman will be added to the burden of this woman's chronic depression.

I haven't felt suicidal for quite some time, so that's not an issue. But damn it hurts. Ziva died a couple of weeks ago and now Himz has gone missing. Himz is a big cat - bigger than any other cat I've owned. I got him as sort of a trade for a dog. Long story. Forgive me for not going into it right now. Himz has been missing for four days. It's very unusual. 

 Before you go blaming me, let me explain that I have a cat door in my front window so cats can go in and out as they please. And I have a doggy door in my back door, and they can use that - and do - as well. Himz has used both doors and knows they're open all the time for him. I still feel guilty whenever a cat goes missing. I do believe in keeping cats indoors, but when you have several cats, a few dogs, and a job, that isn't easy to do. When I worked, I would rush home at lunch to let the dogs out. Eventually I got the doggie door so I wouldn't have to do that. But there was no way to keep the cats from using it, as well. And that's how my cats became indoor-outdoor cats. A few of them chose to stay indoors most of the time. Some of them went outdoors a lot, but came inside, too. Himz mostly stayed outside, but never ventured too far from the front of the house. He was extremely affectionate. When he came inside he liked to sit on my lap in front of the TV. A wonderful cat.

I hope he comes back. 🙏


UPDATE: Himz came back yesterday. He seemed a little confused, which makes me wonder where he was. But he's home now and doing great!!! ❤️

Thursday, June 23, 2022

Meaningless Phrases

I love finding phrases that are supposed to be effective in advertising or whatever, but that really have no logical meaning when you really think about them. Look at this label.

"Up to 100% protection." That means there can be very little protection, but on some occasions you might get 100% protection. Maybe you can make a game of it and post a congratulatory note on the company's Twitter feed or Facebook account if you ever get 100% protection. So how good are these pads, really? And what if you don't get 100% protection and you want to complain to the company? "But we only guarantee up to 100%, not actual 100% all the time." So if you're hoping for 100% protection 100% of the time, these pads probably aren't for you. Meaningless.

Another advertising phrase I laugh at is "baked fresh daily." So what? The important thing, I would think, would be how long from the day it's baked until it reaches the consumer? If you baked my bread (or whatever) two weeks ago it still could have been "baked fresh daily," but not shipped until days later. I think "shipped fresh daily" might be a little better, but not much. Meaningless.

How many commercials do you expect when watching a movie on a regular television network? One every five minutes? One every ten minutes? How many commercials if they announce "limited commercial interruptions"? Doesn't that apply to every show? Because the opposite would be "unlimited" commercial interruptions. And, as much as you like the show, you probably wouldn't watch it if there were unlimited commercial interruptions. Or you might do what I do with most of the shows I watch: you'd record it and watch it later, fast forwarding through the commercials.

There are others I've seen but I didn't make a note when I saw them, darn it. What about you?



Thursday, June 16, 2022

I'm Down To Nine Cats, Now

 Ziva, one of my black cats, passed away overnight last night. I found her this morning on the floor of the TV room. I knew it was coming. She was getting worse and worse as days passed. She was so thin. I kept buying canned food to encourage her to eat more. She'd eat dry food, but liked canned food much better. What cat doesn't? How old was she? I don't know. I've had so many cats and my memory is deteriorating so that keeping track is something I can't do mentally. A while back I created a list on my computer of all the cats I accepted responsibility for, including some strays and ferals. That list now has more dead and/or missing cats listed than live cats. A while back I got so sick of myself for what almost amounted to cat-hoarding that I vowed never to "adopt" another cat. And I haven't. Ziva was always a small cat and, in 2018 or 2019, gave birth to three sons, one of which was killed when he wandered into the neighbor's backyard full of dogs. I still have the other two.

Ziva in 2016

Although some would argue, I feel I've always been a responsible pet owner. I've taken all my pets to be spayed/neutered and vaccinated. I take the dogs in annually, but the cats not so much. I only take them to the vet when they're sick or injured. I feel bad about that, but I can't afford to take all the pets in for an annual exam, etc. (Which is another reason I'm not taking in any more cats.) My cats were indoor cats until a few years ago when I put in a doggie door so the dogs could go outside to poo whenever they needed too, and I wouldn't have to make a mad dash home at lunchtime to let them out. I still feel that cats should be indoor, only. That makes me a hypocrite, I know. 

As I do with all of my pets, I'll take Ziva to be cremated and I'll keep her ashes. I hope to have all my pet cremains interred with me when it's my time. I'll find a place where that's allowed. I think it's allowed in most places now, but I want to be interred in a veterans cemetery. 

Not much else going on. I'm just trying to avoid the horrible heat that is Texas in the summer. And procrastinating the thing that I keep telling myself I actually want to do. And I suppose, way back in the corners of my mind I do want to do them (exercise, clean, etc.).

I started an Etsy shop because I realized there were things I could sell that I could create on my computer and offer for downloading. Things like printable stationery, some forms, and even a little artwork. Visit me and buy something (so I can pay for Ziva's cremation). I'm here: Suze Stationery. I plan to add more stuff, but again I procrastinate. If there's something you might want that I could create, let me know.

My shower floor is falling down. I have no better way to describe it. The last time I showered I notice the floor was detaching from the wall on one side. So I've stopped showering and called my insurance company. If they don't pay to fix it I'm going to have to take baths from now on. They've assigned me a case number which, I think, means they're going to pay for it.

UPDATE: June 23, 20222

My insurance will not pay for my damaged shower. They didn't even send out an inspector to see what the problem was. They told me it was mold and and old leak, but there's no fucking way they could know that. I'm going to contact someone more important than my agent and complain forcefully. 

The good news, maybe, is that I checked the paperwork for my home appliance insurance and it does say something in there about covering indoor plumbing and damage. So I've submitted a claim but haven't heard from them. I'm going to wait a few days and resubmit.