Thursday, June 23, 2022

Meaningless Phrases

I love finding phrases that are supposed to be effective in advertising or whatever, but that really have no logical meaning when you really think about them. Look at this label.

"Up to 100% protection." That means there can be very little protection, but on some occasions you might get 100% protection. Maybe you can make a game of it and post a congratulatory note on the company's Twitter feed or Facebook account if you ever get 100% protection. So how good are these pads, really? And what if you don't get 100% protection and you want to complain to the company? "But we only guarantee up to 100%, not actual 100% all the time." So if you're hoping for 100% protection 100% of the time, these pads probably aren't for you. Meaningless.

Another advertising phrase I laugh at is "baked fresh daily." So what? The important thing, I would think, would be how long from the day it's baked until it reaches the consumer? If you baked my bread (or whatever) two weeks ago it still could have been "baked fresh daily," but not shipped until days later. I think "shipped fresh daily" might be a little better, but not much. Meaningless.

How many commercials do you expect when watching a movie on a regular television network? One every five minutes? One every ten minutes? How many commercials if they announce "limited commercial interruptions"? Doesn't that apply to every show? Because the opposite would be "unlimited" commercial interruptions. And, as much as you like the show, you probably wouldn't watch it if there were unlimited commercial interruptions. Or you might do what I do with most of the shows I watch: you'd record it and watch it later, fast forwarding through the commercials.

There are others I've seen but I didn't make a note when I saw them, darn it. What about you?



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