I saw Dolly Parton on the Tonight Show tonight. The woman is 62 years old. She has huge boobs and is proud of her huge boobs. But her boobs looked incredibly fake tonight. And they didn't look like implants. They looked like helium balloons. They were too far out and too far up for a 62-year old woman. I stared like I was watching a horrible car wreck. I knew they looked fake, but it took me a while to completely figure out the weirdness of the way they looked. Helium balloons. Overinflated. Out and up. I suppose helium filled fake boobs would take a lot of stress off her back.
Can you imagine those petite 62-year old bones supporting those huge boobs? She won't fall and break a hip. One day her back will just snap.
"Freak Injury Paralyzes Beloved Performer" is what the headline will say.
Unless, of course, they really are helium balloons.
(I do love her sparkly website!)
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